In 2003, Today’s Christian Woman found in a survey that one out of every six women, including Christians, acknowledged struggling with pornographic addiction.
A 2006 survey released by Internet Filter Review showed that 17 percent of women said they struggled with pornography addiction and that one in three visitors to pornography sites were women. About 30 percent of Internet pornography consumers are women, according to the 2008 Internet Pornography Statistics.
Whoa, what? And yet men are still getting the bad rap for being "players", "cheaters", and "philanderers"; is that so? Let me be clear here, the majority holders are still men, but with this new theme in today's easily accessible pornography market, it seems those numbers are on their way toward equal.
There is a valuable Biblical lesson to be learned here.
Matthew 5:28 says "But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
Sounds great when we are applying it to those scoundrel men, but ladies, lets change that up a bit:
But I say, anyone who even looks at a man with lust has already committed adultery with him in her heart."
Ok, meat and potatoes ladies, meat and potatoes. Obviously what I am getting at here is that by indulging our flesh in these endeavors, whether visually, emotionally, or audibly, we are committing adultery against our husbands! How can we be so hypocritical that we are condemning men for the same secret crimes that we are openly committing? Is that fair? Is that right?
The truth is, more than just taking a Biblical stance on this, by being a willing participant in female emotional and physical pornography, you are actually changing the way that you feel about your husband over a period of time. Research has shown clearly that over time, both men and women who watch pornography become less and less interested in their own partner. Why? Well, because you are being exposed repeatedly to a level of perfection that most people do not actually have. When you begin to compare physical appearances of the people that you begin to idolize, then the physical appearance of the one you are with becomes dulled in your mind. This applies to even more than just physical form. When you read romance novels and watch romance movies that depict these "perfect" men, you begin to feel disillusioned with the person you married. Why can't my husband bring me flowers every night? Why does my husband not write me a love song? Why can't my husband have a body like that? And so on. It isn't an overnight thing, it comes from years of exposure to Hollywood perfection, which is a lie.
I believe with all of my heart that God created true soul-mates. I believe that just as He searched for a perfect mate for Adam, He creates a perfect mate for each of us. If we start along the slippery slope of comparing our husbands with hunks in romance novels, his physical appearance with those of the top paid movie stars, and our sex life to those written about in erotica, or seen on screen in pornographic movies, then we might as well say goodbye to the love that we feel for our husbands. Once that cycle begins, it would be simple to find reasons to complain, reasons to look elsewhere, because all of a sudden the man that you fell madly in love with, who has supported you and taken care of you all this time, will pale in comparison to what we THINK we can find elsewhere. But it is a farce.
Think about this: If you ignore your husband, complain all of the time, don't supply his physical satisfaction, do you think he will want to do those things for you? No one wants to feel unloved, undesired, or unwanted, and the result of those emotions will be withdrawal. But if you decide to turn your sights back to him, to put kindling back on your romantic fire, don't you think that his desire will be to satisfy you, too? When you look to your husband to supply all of your romantic, emotional, and physical needs, THEN you will find your Prince Charming.