You know how towards the middle of December, everyone is waiting for the holiday break? And some time around May, everyone anticipates summer? Well, so do I. The problem is, by December, I'm already starting to look at new curriculum for the next school year. I buy everything I need for the next school year before Spring Break. And like everyone else, I am anticipating summer. However, a few weeks into summer, I begin to check all of my plans for the following school year. I double check my schedule to make sure there are no gaps or any overlapping dates that I might have missed. Then I tweak my plan, make sure that I got everything I needed. And soon after beginning the slippery slope of "just checking" my future plans, I begin to year for the school year to actually begin.
Some might call this crazy. (I certainly fell that way!) It is quite manic, but I think it has its own benefits, one being a joy for beginnings. Not many people anticipate the coming school year, but I get on fire with anticipation when I think of all of the new things we get to do, learn, and see. Clean, crisp notebooks, unsharpened pencils, that new book smell, they give me the tingles. Sadly, it wears off, proving it's an unhealthy infatuation, rather than a true love. So what do I do about it? I need to focus on appreciating the moment. Just writing about this kept me from messing with my schedule. I realize that if I wear myself out on the excitement of the new beginning, it will turn out to be a letdown when it does happen. I want to go into the new school year in a few weeks, with that fresh joy, and that won't happen if I wear out the thought of it before it even happens.
It's a good lesson to learn because there are many times in life when the answer to a prayer is "just wait". It's obvious that this answer is one I have struggled with a time or two. I know that trying to strive for something can lead to disappointment. Many times in my life, I have felt unhappy with the way things were, and rather than ask God what I should do, and wait for His direction, I jumped without looking. And every single time, I met the ground on the other side with sickening dissapointment. I won't lie and say that I stayed unhappy, because no matter what darkness I ended up in, God always brought me baack into light, but it is still something that I could have avoided. So, I am living in the moment. I have decided to enjoy each day for what is in that day, and when I have gotten enough rest and fun, I will get back to business and face it with vigor, rather than spent
Matthew 6:34
Therefore don’t worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.